Introduction.
For the first quarter of the year, I was highly motivated and chasing after my dreams. I was fulfilled and was in the process to land some very lucrative offers and everything was going great. However, Corona happened and everything came to a halt and all my job leads turned to dead ends. I started getting rejection letters left, right, and center. Soon after this, I noticed my motivation, in general, started to go downhill.
These are some of the reasons that led me to this state of demotivation.
- Rejection.
One of the low lows of this year is the rejection emails I have received. Every rejection mail made me feel as though I am not good enough and I even got to the point where I had no desire to code. At some point I have deliberated getting into something else since Software Engineering, in my head, clearly wasn't for me.
- Negative Criticism
There is positive and negative criticism and unfortunately, I have dealt with a fair share of the latter this year. First, someone criticized my zeal and motivation to code wondering whether I had nothing else to do like watch movies. I started doubting myself and even stopped coding for a month. I can be very ambitious but such comments get me discouraged very fast.
- Condescension
Somewhere along the way, someone got interested in my resume and wanted me to build their startup. First, they insisted on underpaying me because I live in a third world country and our rates are lower(his offer was way below what developers get paid here). I tried to negotiate and they blatantly told me that I am not very good since I did not have a bunch of experience to justify the low pay. This fuelled my imposter syndrome.
- Impatience
Impatience and ambition are two things that I have struggled with. I really am a hard worker and I tend to have big dreams for myself. So when things did not fall into place I thought they would this year, I got disappointed in myself and was impatient on the journey. I saw no point in putting in the work if it was not leading, in my case, to a job offer.
What I am/have been doing to get motivated.
- Writing down my goals
I am a very vision-oriented person so I decided to write down my dreams to try to regain my drive in life. I wrote a list of goals (6-months goals) in my notebook to try and get more perspective of what I wanted in life. This has helped me get the drive to get things done.
- Creating a vision board
Since I am a big picture kind of girl, a vision board by my work desk has helped me elevate my why and put the vision I see for myself in the next 6 months to a year into perspective. This is keeping me grounded in my work.
- Dreamlining
Being more visionary can have its cons in that the visions may not get executed upon. I picked the concept of dreamlining from the 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris. It entails selecting the 4 most important goals from your list of goals and depending on the time period you set to achieve them, you break down the cost per month needed for each of your dreams to come to fruition. I also go further to create 3 steps to take for each of the 4 dreams and then do the thing.
- Force yourself
I have come to realize that adulting is all about parenting myself. When I was younger my mother would remind me to do things I was supposed to do like studying, doing the dishes, etc. whenever I got too distracted playing. As an adult, I have had to take my own initiative and force myself to do what needs to be done. I have realized that once I take the first step against the resistance, everything starts to fall into place. The best thing is the fulfillment I get from fulfilling my responsibilities.
Don't wait till you feel like doing it. You are never going to feel like it.
- Sharing my journey.
Being a junior Software Developer, fighting with imposter syndrome, and trying to get an internship or junior developer roles can be quite tasking especially in the midst of a pandemic. I understand it's easy to get demotivated which is what happened to me. I started surrounding myself with a group of people that supported me or were on the same journey and sharing my experiences. This has had me get support from friends and I wish I had done this sooner than later.
- Finding a hobby that isn't tech-related.
I believe as a Software Developer you don't have to code 24/7. Finding a hobby/hobbies outside tech has helped break the monotony and keep my life more interesting. This break from the monotony of always coding has helped me get motivated to work on a few of my personal projects.
- Gratitude Journaling.
I will admit it has been hard to count my blessings this year and gratitude journaling was a big big step into getting out of the pity party. You would be surprised just how much I had to be thankful for. Don't dwell on your lows too much look on the brighter side too.
I have come to the realization that there is always going to be someone better than me and I have stopped comparing myself to others since our journeys in tech will be different.
Trust the process it's a marathon, not a sprint.
Book recommendation
Living by the Code by Enrique López Mañas Get It Here
